|DATING TIPS MAILBAG:
What Women Want In A Man|
By David DeAngelo
I just bought
the advanced CD series & it's amazing what a difference
they make over the book. Being able to listen on the way to
work, whilst out doing chores, etc. is cool. I can feel the
confidence building inside me, it's like my own personal
doesn't come naturally to me at present so I've taken your
advice and am using the internet as a 'woman simulator' in order
to practice. I've had mixed results so far, I think a few took
the teasing the wrong way as some of them would suddenly stop
must be better at the C&F than I thought though. The first
time I went on this site I was chatting to a few girls and one
of them ended up giving me her mobile and asking if we could go
for coffee before I had chance to. Anyway my question: You
suggest that a date should simply be 'tea & stimulating
conversation', which for all of the reasons you give makes
perfect sense to me. But once I've done the tea &
conversation with this girl, do you have any suggestions for
other dates where I can come across as the 'lover' instead of
the 'provider'. The only one where I wouldn't end up having to
shell out (buy her stuff) that I can think of is a walk along
the river or something, but that's rather dependant on the
changing my life.
- London UK
you're welcome for the "changing your life" thing. Glad to
kind of mixing up a couple of concepts that I never intended to
"depend" on one another...
you want to know where to take a woman for dates, that shouldn't be
confused with whether or not you come across as a "lover"
personality, and not a "provider" personality to her.
me ask you something... what is a "date"?
do you think that the purpose of a "date" is?
I call my material "Double Your Dating", but what I DON'T
mean is "take women out to dinner twice as much as you used
"Dating" is simply a word that all of us guys understand to
mean "romantic interactions with women".
I use it.
you want to have more romantic interactions with women, that does NOT
mean that you need to "take women out on dates" in order to
Are you with
I mean, what do
couples do a year after they get together...?
stay home most of the time, do normal things like go shopping, and
generally behave like they did before they met.
whole "going out to dinner" ritual is really an amazing
concept. It's awesome how powerful it is... and how guys really
believe that they need to do it (or similar things) in order to get a
woman's attention in a romantic way.
the bottom line:
you want a woman to think of you as a "lover", then BE ONE.
If you want her to
think of you as a provider, then just BE ONE.
you haven't quite realized fully yet is that when you know how to
trigger ATTRACTION in a woman, all the "normal" rules go
If a woman
feels that powerful emotional ATTRACTION for you, then she'll do
ANYTHING with you... just to be in your presence and have your
have dialed up the ATTRACTION, then all you need to say is "come
if you buy her dinner 10 times, call her 3 times a day, and chase her
around, then it will be EXPECTED that you continue this pattern... and
provide for her.
If you're buying a woman dinner twice a week, giving her flowers,
calling her every day, and basically "chasing" her, then you
can be about 80% sure that there's another guy in the picture... but
guess what? He's the one who SHE calls, and he's the one who says
"Come over later, I'm busy now"... no dates required.
you want to be a LOVER to a woman, then DO IT.
don't need to wait until the third time out for coffee or tea.
learn that ATTRACTION doesn't have a timeline.
happens VERY QUICKLY, if you know how to trigger it... and you don't
need a lot of "date ideas" once you do.
now that I've avoided your question for a page or two, let me answer
take women to do "regular" things with me. I'll take them to
the grocery store to shop with me, out to the mall to pick things up,
and down to the bookstore to buy a book.
start BEING the LOVER immediately.
notice how women DON'T CARE what you do together, as long as she's
to say that after reading your material, I experienced a mental
shift. I now see situations in terms of: was I self-referenced
(C & F Man) or externally referenced (wussie boy)? It is now
very clear that success in anything comes to leaders not
followers and women hate dealing with followers. For example
look at little boys dealing with little girls when they are
playing together. They boss them around, make them play by their
rules and those girls grow up expecting men to lead them. Just
watch any John Garfield or Lee Marvin movie. Leaders get the
girl, wussies get to be used and discarded. I've made my choice.
E from Chi
help me get the word out to the other 3 billion guys on the planet.
You're right. Women
don't like men who are FOLLOWERS.
aren't ATTRACTED to men who are FOLLOWERS.
guess what? Most men FOLLOW anyway.
for reminding us that we need to LEAD. Leading creates
ATTRACTION. Following creates the curious dry feeling.
I definitely have to give it to you. You are "da
shizznitt", lol. Your DYD dvd series has really changed my
entire life. I now feel like I am in control of "My
World". I was a little hesitant about buying your
product... but I just said "What the Hell...What can I
loose???" I am military and in my spare time I am a
bartender. You know what that means... I see females out
the izzass, lol. I was working one night and a female came
up to one of my fellow bartenders to order something and while
getting her drink... she asked told him... " all these guys
are staring at me. Do you think i'm cute?" Now
normally if I were in his shoes and hadn't learned what you
taught me... I would have melted and told her that she was the
finest thing to step foot on this base... case in point...that
was what he said. He just bent down unzipped his pants and
practically handed her his nuts. Hence, her hands being the
nutcracker. I interrupted them while he was "dazed
and confused" and told her "Actually they're looking
at that big pimple on your forehead. She stopped and
turned towards me and laughed and hit me on the arm. Then
I told her not to get mad cuz I was cuter than she. She
smiled and for some odd reason... she could not keep herself
away from the bar. I just pretended that she was one of my
friends that I tease all the time and just called her on
everything that she did. Man... I couldn't believe that
she was really eating this up!!! The other bartender that
she was talking to first, couldn't believe that I was doing
this!!! He.... for some odd reason didn't GET what was
going on... It was like jets flying over his head. And to
show that his nuts belonged to her... he just kept trying to
compliment her. She just glanced at him smiled and quickly
turned her head to pay him no mind. I got her e-mail and number
and she has been like putty in my hands for the past three
months. I have to give it to you, Dave. You da man!!!
I'm not a selfish person...so I gave him your e-mail address and
hopefully he'll get your system and realize what he's been
doing wrong. I should give him her e-mail address so that
he can ask for his balls back, lol. But... for those who
have doubts about Dave's system... I'm living proof of success.
of all, I think that you must have some kind of bizarre NUT OBSESSION,
And it's not
fortunately you're on the right side of the "don't hand them
over" equation, so everything seems like it might be all right
given some great examples of how to get an attractive woman's
attention, tease her, and play with her to "spark" that
initial sexual tension and "chemistry".
make sure you keep it up so you're not writing me in 3 more months
with the "She used the Trojan Horse De-Nutting Technique" on
What has happened to women's standards? All the beautiful
babes with no neck dorks! I am a good looking guy and I can't
even get a phone number. They go out with guys that weigh like
300 lbs and dress like slobs. I wear nice clothes and drive a
nice car and I can't get a single date. Maybe it is where I
live. In order to get a date I will have to gain 200 lbs and
have someone break my nose so I am ugly enough for some girl to
date me. American girls suck! They have no taste anymore!
think that the problem is that you whine like a whipped Bitch.
can smell a "victim" attitude 100 miles away, and it IS NOT
"standards" are just fine.
problem isn't them, it's YOU.
do yourself a favor and quit ACTING like a little girl, and DO
SOMETHING about your situation.
do you think that all the average and ugly guys out there who have HOT
girlfriends are getting them by being ugly?
answer is "No, they're not".
guys are getting the babes because they know how to make the women
me, I know quite a few guys who are NOT exactly the picture of
"handsome"... but these guys get a lot of women.
Because they KNOW
whining, and go LEARN.
D, Just wanted to drop you a quick note. I am a 34 year old and
divorced using your E-book to learn how to get back into the
game. Since I was raised by my parents to be a nice guy, submissive,
wussy, it has been a challenge to overcome these self-destructive
traits---but I am gaining ground every day. Also, I don't have
any natural ability for C&F. For the most part I am quiet
and reserved----so I have needed to re-train myself in that area
also. You have given me a good start by explaining attraction
and what women want.
want to stress the importance of "practice". It's the
only way to quickly improve your inner and outer game.
What has helped me is practicing on an old girlfriend. I am sure
many of your students like me have a woman that just won't
let you go from an old relationship. So, I have not completely
ended it for sex and companionship and she keeps me around for
sex and emotional support.
my amazing weekend: Saturday, I went out with the old girlfriend
and busted on her and challenged her on many issues all night.
My old self would have shut up and zoned out---not this time. I
didn't put up with any of her nonsense. It ended at my place and
we had an amazing double session. She is now hooked more than
ever even though she knows I am seeing other people. She can't
help herself. I have triggered the attraction mechanism and more
importantly I know what I did to accomplish that. Sunday I
spent the day with a cute girl who had responded to my internet
ad. We had only been out once before. I played the game---didn't
act overly sexually interested, just enough....I used the
C&F when I could, but basically kept cool. She
offered to pay our lunch/cocktail bill. My old self would have
foolishly denied her offer---thinking I was the man, thinking I
was being chivalrous (how foolish ;). This time I accepted
without hesitation. Once back at my place I used the start and
stop technique. I would get her hot, then I would back off. She
would stop my hand from reaching too far so I decided that I
wasn't going to push it and that tonight might not be "the
night" with her so I was very relaxed. At 10:00 she was
getting ready to leave. We started making out while saying
goodbye----next thing I know , we were in the bedroom. It was
amazing. The fun lasted all night. Today I am tired with a smile
on my face. I know it worked out because I put the proper
groundwork in place. By turning my sexual advances on and then
off-----it really got to her. Acting as if I was evaluating
her...the whole thing. Thank you for pointing me in the right
direction, I am starting to get it!!! Literally ;)
really are starting to GET IT.
you are RIGHT ON.
stuff takes practice and real-world experience using it before you
really "get it".
many guys are just too damned overly-analytical, and want to know how
to do EVERYTHING before they do ANYTHING.
used to be this way... and it cost me a lot of time and energy.
so amazing to actually get out there and SEE results right in front of
your eyes. It gets you excited and willing to try more things... and
it prepares you for the future... for situations that are REALLY
there and use this stuff.
does it mean when a woman says she wants to "work on
herself" before she can have a relationship?
literal translation for this is:
DON'T FEEL ATTRACTION FOR YOU, BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW TO TELL YOU
WITHOUT HURTING YOUR LITTLE WUSSY BOY GIRLIE FEELINGS."
of the following:
need time alone right now."
need to find me first."
just be friends for now."
the bottom line.
problem is YOU, not HER.
be surprised if this same girl either IS or STARTS dating another guy
you're hearing this kind of thing often, then you need to take it as a
sign that you're not triggering ATTRACTION inside of women... and,
more importantly, that you need to LEARN HOW.
recommend my Advanced Dating Techniques Program.
will help eliminate these types of comments from women once and for
Here, let me
brag for a minute...
sitting here thinking about it, and I can't remember a woman saying
one of these things to me in YEARS.
are the man! I have been getting your emails for about 8 months
now I belive and have read your book! Just yesterday I was in
the store looking at CD's and I noticed these two beautiful
girls walking around and they would constantly look over towards
me. As I wandered around the store more I noticed that they
seemed to always show up wherever I was. So I stopped them and
asked the girl that I was more attracted to "Excuse me but
i'm going to have to ask you to stop stalking me." She
looked at her friend like 'What is this boy talking about' and
then she asked me for my name. I immediately answered "Do
you really think i'm just going to give my name out to a
stalker?" once again she looked like she couldn't believe I
was talking to her this way. We talked about five more minutes
and then I told her I had to go. She asked me if I wanted her
number so we could continue the conversation. I pretended to
think about it and then told her "I'm sorry but I'm just
going to be way too busy to find time to call you. So If you
promise to stop stalking me i'll give you my number and you can
try and catch me when I have a few minutes of free time to
talk." She eagerly took my number and when I got home about
an hour later she had already left a message on my machine to
see if I could go out with her this weekend!
was so happy because I was curious too see if I reversed the
three minute phone number to give away my number instead of
getting hers would work and it did! Anyway on to my question. As
I stated this girl was with a friend at the store who was also
very attractive and was there the whole time I was hitting up
her friend. Is there anyway in these situations where you can
get both girls numbers?
"reverse stalker" move.
say things like this to women all the time, and they generally love
To answer your
question, YES, there's an easy way to get both girls' phone numbers.
call and ask them BOTH to come join you for a cup of tea.
two birds with one stone.
over tea you can decide which one you like more.
had friends who have been in similar situations report back that
sometimes both women will like you... and EACH OTHER as well.
mean, what do you have to lose? 2 minutes of getting a phone number?
Look, your question
was based in fear.
that you'd offend one or both of the women, and then lose everything.
The fact is that
you never HAD anything.
phone number is easy to get. If you feel like asking both women for
their numbers, do it. If you feel like asking them both to join you
for tea, do it.
get to make the rules.
I received your DVD
series about a month ago and have watched it in its entirety a
few times. I've noticed a strange circumstance since then,
similar to what Napoleon Hill says about how when you choose a
definite major purpose in life, ways and means of attaining that
purpose seem to magically appear to you. When I've been in
situations where I wasn't actually interacting with a woman and
laying on the C&F, they've still been acting attracted to me
despite the fact that I consciously did NOTHING in these
situations. For example:
A bar/restaurant I hit about once a week has a very hot waitress
staff, and one in particular is a Pam Anderson clone who's
always being stared at and complimented by all the wussy guys.
She's been working at least a dozen times that I've been in
there but has never acted like she even noticed me until the
last time (since I've watched the DVDs) and she kept looking at
me, over and over again, despite the fact that I did NOTHING
different. Finally I gave her the "wrinkled
brow" suspicious look and she got all self-conscious, said
"what?" and I came right back with "if you're
gonna be that forward and flirty with me you could've at least
done your hair up a little better" and then it was ON!
- I met some
friends for happy hour and a very hot chick was sitting at a
table holding some guy's hand. Every other guy in the place was
staring at her and she was so hot that I even overheard some of
the waitresses trashing her. The thing is, I had been watching
the DVDs that same day and came walking in with a particularly
cocky swagger and the wrinkled brow and she stared me down the
whole way in. Then she would not stop looking over at me while
she was holding this dude's hand, he was obviously a Wussy since
he saw what was going on and did nothing (I guess he's the guy
she uses for free dinners while she's banging the real men).
At one point she even took the long way to the bathroom to walk
by me and flirt but with the Wussy watching there was no op to
get the info... hopefully I run into her again.
that just watching the DVD series gives one an aura of
confidence, since I did nothing in these situations but show up.
Kinda like reading Comedy Writing Secrets then suddenly being
funnier without actually thinking about it and trying.
Simply watching and learning this material opens doors for you
you're tapping into the power of the mind here.
of the BIG benefits of learning all of the material that I teach in my
programs is the changes that naturally occur inside your mind.
you see things differently, you begin to BEHAVE differently as well.
And it will happen automatically.
I don't mean to sound new-agey here, but this is the reality of the
can pick up on subtle body language that most men don't even know
When you start
"mentally rehearsing" some of the things you learn from my
programs, you will automatically act differently when you're in future
situations with women.
job, and keep it up.
make sure you send in some future Success Stories, as I'm sure you're
going to have many.
blah, I shamelessly compliment you, you feel like a deity...
there we're done.
book would be worth it's weight in gold, even if it were made of
lead! I stumbled onto your site by accident. A month before, I
was Let's Just BeFriended for being "too nice", and
this was with an UGLY thing too! eh... I was desperate. I
actually laughed at those "losers" for getting slapped
on the arm and called a**hole, and later, I thought the chicks
were idiots for dating them!! I'm better now. After reading your
book it was like the heavens were parted and g*d HIMself bitch
slapped the wuss right out of me! Thanks.
only am I getting slapped, bitten, chewed on, and fought over, I
am LOVING it too! Just the other day I was in a bookstore, and
an old friend (read "hot chick") of mine came in, I
thought, 'hey I am here just being my new self, lets try
something', so I walked over to her, said hi, and then said
"I didn't expect to see a beautiful young woman here" she
said "aww that's so sweet" (read "you wussy")
but then I did something that has been working really well for
me, I busted on her. I said "maybe I still will" Slap
on arm, AND big smile. She was wearing this rather large skirt
with ruffles, so I said "wow... I didn't know the parachute
look was still in" while obviously staring at it. Another
slap on arm, this time laughing. Later she asked if I got my
hair cut (I hadn't) she said it "whatever it is, its really
attractive." There is this coffee shop in the store, so we
had "stimulating conversation" a little while went by,
and she asked me to go to her car with her, so she could
"show me a new piece of art." well needless to say, we
are still "appreciating art" together, and its been
the question is... Will complimenting the ladies then busting on
whatever I just complimented work the same as if not
complimenting at all?
of my favorites...
a woman a compliment, then putting a backhanded twist on it.
your shoes are cute. Did you buy them new?"
hair is pretty. Did your mom do it for you?"
car. If you're homeless."
up any modern men's magazine and you'll get a bunch of good ideas for
this type of thing.
& Funny can be very powerful once you learn how to use it. Great
example, and thank you.
Hey Dave, I
have been reading your emails and have purchased your ebook and
have read and studied from both. I would 'study' areas I
felt I was weak in or would that be wussy in, to improve,
naturally, but would read everything for as much knowledge as I
could absorb. Well, I have a success story but with a
slight twist to it. The twist is my success was due to
playing off of 2 other guys' failures.
went to a club in a part of town I normally do not go to. Not
that it is a bad part of town I just never thought of going
there. I went by myself, so on my own, no one for moral
support, in a place I have never been before. Talk about
giving your ideas the acid test, this was going to be it.
I was looking down at the dance floor getting into the music and
noticed behind me two girls sitting at a table. I then noticed 2
guys approach and one started to talk to one of the girls.
The other guy was just standing there looking at girl #2 trying
to get up the nerve to say something, from what I could tell,
since I was that way myself in a not so distant past. I
just turned away and didn't pay much attention but after 10 mins
or so the same guy talking to girl #1 is not making any headway.
Guy 2 still had his wuss game going so no change there. I
decided to ask girl # 2 to dance but wanted to get her attention
and interest, as well. So I leaned over and said, "While
that guy is trying to hustle your friend, whom, I might he is
not doing very well, would you like to dance?" Well,
this girl just cracked up laughing, she did not want to dance
but did want to talk more. She went on to say that there
is nothing he could say or do at this point to make her want to
dance or go out with him. He just doesn't get it, she
said. I went on to say I know it is crowded and a bit loud
here but one should understand NO easy enough. She agreed
and went on to mention how much of a loser his friend is just
standing there. I then remembered a statement someone used
in an email of yours and thought I would use it myself. I
said to girl #2 "what's that smell, do you smell
that?" She replies, "What smell?" I said,
"The smell of desperation." Well, Dave, that
girl laughed so hard she fell out of her chair. I helped her up
and when she told me she had to tell her girl friend that and
when she leaned over to talk to her I just turned away and went
back to looking at the people dancing.
a bit this girl came up to me and said look at those losers they
are just standing on the dance floor while people are dancing
around them. They did look pretty pathetic. We talked a bit and
I asked her name but I did not quite understand it since she was
Latin and had a Latin name I could not make out what she said,
what with all the loud music and noise. Just then some friends
of hers and her girl friend's came in and she started to talk to
them so again I just turned away and watched people on the dance
floor. After a bit she came back and grabbed my arm and
said come on I want to introduce you to my friends. After she
introduces everyone to me I turn to her and ask what was your
name again? Is it ludicrous? She just busted up laughing
again and tried to tell me her name again. By now, she is
holding my hand and we started dancing right there. We
talked a bit and I told her she has to write her name down so I
can pronounce correctly when I call her. She say's,
"Call me?" I said, "Yes, since you are writing
your name down you might as well give me your number. How
else am I going to call you? Oh, and if you have email you
might as well give me that also."
said, that it was cool meeting me and gave me a hug and kiss.
She then went back to her friends and I just turned away and
called it a night.
may not have been nice to use the 2 guys wuss behavior to my
advantage but it worked.
from Miami Beach
you went off secretly to a bar alone... hoping that no one would see
you testing the materials out for yourself... lol.
sometimes it's rough when other guys act like Wussy Jackasses...
But hey, it makes
your life easier and more fun!
what the hell, right?
have to say, one of my personal favorite things to do with women I've
just met is make fun of how other guys are acting.
particularly fun in these bar-type situations, where you can watch one
interaction after another.
guys suck at approaching women, and it makes for great humor and
course, talking about how terrible other guys are INSTANTLY separates
you from the herd, and kind of puts you in the "NON-WUSS"
category all by itself.
personal favorite of mine is to tell a girl that she should get
together with one of the guys that is acting like a jackass.
think you and that Wuss-Boy over there would make a cute couple. He
looks like he needs a mom like you to tell him what to do..."
You've done a
great job here, now keep it up.
thanks for the great example. Always remember in these
situations that a big scoop of COCKY & FUNNY will make things go
In this Mailbag you've heard from a
lot of guys who are using my eBook "Double Your Dating" to
improve their success with women and dating. It comes with three
additional free bonus booklets, and it's a complete introduction to my
principles and techniques. Of course, it also comes with a 100%
guarantee. Go download your copy here... you can be reading it in
literally a few minutes from right now. And be sure to sign up for my
free newsletter while you're at it. You can do both here:
Dating Tips Newsletter And Download eBook •
David DeAngelo is the
author of "Double Your Dating - What Every Man Should
Know About How To Be Successful With Women", and has taught thousands of men
how to be more successful with women and dating.
Copyright 2004 David DeAngelo Communications Inc., All Rights Reserved. "David DeAngelo" and "Double Your Dating" are trademarks used by David DeAngelo Communications Inc.